


as the dawn kisses the horizon

by mousecookie



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alcohol, Cultural Differences, Dancing, Fluff, M/M, New Year's Kiss, Schmoop, Shadowgast's complete inability to actually talk to each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28470801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mousecookie/pseuds/mousecookie
Summary: In the Dynasty, the celebrations that welcome the new year - the New Dawn - are somber and stuffy.  Essek has never had much of a taste for parties, either.Marion Lavorre's soirée at the Lavish Chateau, though?   Might just change his mind.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 46
Kudos: 276





	as the dawn kisses the horizon

**Author's Note:**

> This fic spawned from a prompt meme on tumblr, for the prompt "chasing someone's lips when they pull away". I was sitting here on December 31st thinking, hey, I should make it a New Year's fic! So here it is.

“Mama, are you sure you want to spend the Eve of New Dawn with us? Isn’t it like, a big romantic evening for your clients? I bet they all want to kiss you at midnight.” Jester held her mother's hands, looking up at her imploringly.

Marion Lavorre laughed, the sound filling her sitting room like so many bells. “They do, but of _course_ I want to spend it with you! My little Sapphire, there is no one else I would rather welcome in the new year with.” She gave a slight smile. “Besides, this year I have already decided that I would like to throw a party just for the staff of the Chateau, and their families and friends. As a ‘thank you’ for a very long year.”

Over on the sofa, Essek’s ears twitched, and his shoulders tensed. Had the war between the Dynasty and the Empire reached all the way to Nicodranas and affected the Lavish Chateau? Things hadn't seemed dire when he'd been in Nicodranas before the peace talks, but admittedly he hadn't taken much notice of the locals. Had he caused hardship for Jester’s mother? 

The thought made his chest ache. Since joining the Mighty Nein after their adventures in Eiselcross, the seeds of guilt and regret in his heart were sprouting more and more, fed by seeing the true fallout of the conflict. The Mighty Nein were always encountering and helping everyday people, learning their stories, _caring_ about their stories. It was unavoidable. The burden of it almost made him miss the frigid isolation of the north, sometimes. (But only sometimes. And only almost.)

There was a nudge against his shin: Frumpkin, purring softly. Essek looked up in time to see Caleb glancing away.

“Okay, if you’re sure,” Jester replied, trepidatious for just a second longer before her face bloomed into an enormous grin. “Oh my gosh, is it going to be on the rooftop? Are we going to do the lights and music and fireworks?”

“I do have a lot of fireworks,” Beau commented. 

“Yes to all of those things,” Marion smiled. “I want to give my Chateau family, and you and your friends-” she cupped Jester’s cheek “-a _wonderful_ party.”

Jester’s squeal of excitement could be heard from the street. “I'll help you decorate!”

* * *

The rooftop garden of the Lavish Chateau was transformed into a wonderland of fairy lights, clinking glasses, and happy chatter. Essek had helped hang some of those lights himself, giving the bartender Carlos a break from his stepladder. Essek wondered idly (and somewhat smugly) what the stern dunamancy teachers of his youth would think of how Essek was using his hard-won graviturgy skills to hang lanterns. 

While decorating, he’d learned from Jester that Marion Lavorre’s New Dawn party was very different from the soirées the Lavish Chateau occasionally held for patrons. There was the same richness and comfort in the decor and food, but the atmosphere was more jovial, less measured. The effortlessly beautiful Chateau staff were not thinking about the performative part of their work, or about work at all. There was laughter, both loud and inelegant, and children wove freely in and out of the crowd with paper butterflies and pilfered _hors d'oeuvres_. 

It was strange, but atmosphere of joyful anticipation felt like pouring warm gold directly into Essek’s bones.

Maybe he was in need of relief from the long year, too. He shouldn’t be allowed, perhaps, considering his role in sparking the conflict, but he wasn’t virtuous enough to hold himself aloof from the merriment. Especially not when Caleb’s cheeks were rosy with wine and he was pulling Essek to the center of the floor to dance.

“Are you having a good time?” Caleb asked as they stepped in time to the music under the night sky.

“Yes,” Essek said honestly. “I am not usually a fan of parties, but... Yes. And it is nice to be welcome here.”

Barely anyone at the party had batted an eye at seeing a drow in their midst. He’d been asked to dance or offered drinks by several pleasant strangers. Once, a child had stared at him for a long moment before solemnly presenting him a slightly squashed strawberry tart from the dessert table. ( _“Ah. Thank you,”_ he'd said, panicking about what to do with it. Dressed for the warm Nicodranas climes, he had no cloak that the pastry could disappear inside. Luckily, the child had run off without another word. Children were strange.)

 _“Das ist gut,”_ Caleb hummed. “The people here are good. They see the good in you, too.”

“Me? Now I know you have had too much wine,” Essek accused.

“Well, you are working on it,” Caleb allowed, smiling fondly. “That is all anyone can do, don’t you think?” 

Essek’s throat closed around his reply. _It isn’t that simple_ , he wanted to say. And, _I’m afraid that if the guilt in me grows too much, I will shatter._ Instead, he went on the offensive. “Would you give yourself the same grace?” he asked as Caleb skillfully maneuvered them around another dancing pair. “Forgive your trespasses, because you are trying?”

Caleb’s footwork stuttered, and his face fell. Regret stabbed at Essek’s insides. Why had he decided to ruin a nice conversation? But now that he’d put his foot in it, the only way to go was forward.

“You must say the same of yourself,” Essek insisted. “Tell me you think the same of yourself, or I can’t believe it when you say it to me.”

Caleb’s hand flexed against Essek’s shoulder blade. He frowned, bordering on a grimace. “I am… trying,” he said at last.

Essek squeezed his hand. “And that is all anyone can do, no? As you said.”

The song ended, and there was a bustle of people moving in and out of the dancing space. Caleb tugged Essek over to the edge of the roof, where a large potted hibiscus could provide a semblance of privacy. Essek spotted a couple using another such nook to brazenly devour each other, slow and simmering, and felt his face burn hot. Caleb was not going to do that with him. They were still no closer than friends. But… the idea was… not displeasing.

Caleb fidgeted, leaning on the waist-high wall that ringed the rooftop. Then he gave a dry, self-deprecating huff. “I brought you here and now I cannot put together what I was going to say,” he admitted. “Only… I am glad you came with us, after everything in the north.”

“I am glad as well,” Essek replied. The fairy lights were gilding Caleb’s hair into a red-gold halo. Essek wanted very badly to card his fingers through it. He directed his gaze out at the night sky to distract himself. 

From the nearby couple, there came sounds of a wet smack of lips and a soft sigh. Essek flushed to the roots of his hair. He glanced at Caleb, who was--

\--looking right back at him, his eyes dark and thoughtful, the quirk of his mouth oddly uncertain.

The air was suddenly very thick in Essek's lungs.

“Are you guys making out over here? Mama wants to do a toast soon,” Jester’s voice cut in.

Essek wasn’t sure whether to be grateful or mortified at the interruption. He settled queasily halfway in between as they followed Jester - who hadn’t waited for an answer to her question - back into the bustling party.

“Everyone, I am so happy to celebrate this New Dawn with you all, my dear friends, my family,” Marion was saying. She looked absolutely resplendent in an ombre gown that faded from deep fuschia on her shoulders to a delicate white-gold as it pooled at her feet. White hibiscus flowers twined around her horns. A scattering of tiny dancing lights that followed her around - Caleb’s gift to their hostess, refreshed every hour - completed her ethereal image. “I know that just as each morning blooms from the night, the next year will hold light and beauty for us all. I know this, because that light and beauty is within each of you. Thank you all. My heart is full.” 

She raised her glass of champagne, and there was applause and cheering as everyone did the same.

Essek sipped from the glass flute Jester had thrust into his hand, spilling some over his wrist in her haste. It was delicate and sweet, reminding him of Moonbright wines from Rosohna.

“Make sure you save some of that for the turn of the hour,” Caleb said at his elbow. “There will be another toast.”

“I’ll get you some more, Essek, don’t worry,” Jester reappeared, having just gone to give her mother a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Besides, the really important part of midnight is the _kissing_.”

“...Kissing?” Essek asked hesitantly, thinking again of the ardent couple by the potted hibiscus. “Ah- will you… explain the custom to me? I am afraid this is all very different from what happens at h- in the Dynasty.” His fingers tensed on his champagne flute. The people here were rather more free with their physical affection than he was used to. Hopefully this wasn’t some mandatory free-for-all.

“Oh, you know,” Jester sing-songed, innocent and wicked all at once. “When you have a special someoooone, and you like them very very much, when the bells ring at midnight you give them a little kiss! It’s a very important tradition.” She grinned and looked slyly between Essek and Caleb. “Just so you know! So if you have someone in mind, you know, you should probably find them in the next few minutes, and stand right next to them so you’re both ready.”

Caleb and Essek shifted a little awkwardly. They were indeed standing right next to each other. Essek supposed it was technically within kissing distance. His ears twitched again, causing his silver earrings to tinkle against one another.

“Aaaanyway!” Jester hummed, faux-nonchalant. “I want kisses on the cheek from everyone so you’d better come find me too, okay?!” She flashed them a grin and vanished into the crowd, no doubt to find Fjord.

There was a charged pause that hung between them. Essek took an overly large sip of his champagne, and regretted it immediately as it fizzed almost painfully down his gullet. He struggled not to cough.

Caleb cleared his throat. “How does the Dynasty celebrate the New Dawn? I do not think I have ever learned.”

“Celebrate is a strong word,” Essek said, trying to clear the last of the bubbles that burned his nose. “They, ah... it is more of a ceremony, which takes place during the literal new dawn, when the sun rises at some terribly early hour of the morning. Each person will bask in the new light, greeting it as it shines upon the world for the first time. It is more of a collective meditation. Certainly not a party like this.” He gestured to the merry-making around them with a lopsided smile.

He’d always found the practice to be boring and far too frequent. It was exhausting the way the Dynasty layered reverence for the Luxon into absolutely anything and everything, _ad nauseum,_ including holidays simply marking the passage of time. Or at least, that’s how it was with the nobility. Perhaps the lower classes had parties like these.

“That sounds dreadful,” Caleb said, and startled Essek into a laugh.

“It is. Was. I like this far better,” Essek said. _Pip-pop_ went champagne bubbles in his thoughts. He spoke a little louder over the rising din of chatter. “And that surprises me, you know. I hate parties. But I don’t hate this. Not when you are here. Ah-- when you are all here! My friends,” he hastily amended. 

Around them, there was a disjointed chant beginning, solidifying into numbers as party-goers kept an eye on a beautiful mantle clock that Marion had brought up to the rooftop just for this purpose. _Ten, nine, eight--_

Essek nervously went to sip from his glass again and found it empty.

“I am glad you are here too,” Caleb said. He wasn’t chanting with the group. He was just standing there, looking at Essek, that strange mixture of promise and hesitance on his face. Someone bumped into him, knocking him a step closer to Essek, and he didn’t retreat. A warm wisp of scent - wine and woodsmoke and clean sweat - filtered into Essek’s nose. Caleb was so very, very close.

_Three, two, one--_

The crowd erupted into cheers. Confetti and flower petals were tossed into the air, and Essek was elbowed by someone who had just leaned into an exuberant hug.

Essek looked at his champagne flute, which was still unhelpfully empty. 

“Essek,” Caleb murmured, voice pitched low yet still so clear, so wonderfully clear. Callused fingertips brushed against Essek’s hand.

The touch was a spark on the fuse of Essek’s indecision. Before he could second-guess himself, he leaned carefully into Caleb’s space, paused so that he might have an opportunity to object, then pressed a kiss to _just_ the very corner of Caleb’s mouth, small and soft. He hoped that by hovering precisely on the border of propriety, it could be excused as miscalculation of the distance if need be. 

It was an unnecessary precaution. As Essek pulled away, Caleb was chasing right after him, reeling him back in.

This time, Caleb’s mouth was warm and full against his. There was no room for misinterpretation, only nerves fizzing down Essek's spine as sweet as the champagne he’d been sipping all evening. He was drunk with sensation. The din of the party seemed muted as he became hyper-aware of _Caleb_ , the arm slipping around his waist, the sigh of their shared breath, the slightest prickle of Caleb’s scruff, which he hadn’t shaved in several days.

When they parted, the noise reared back to full volume.

Caleb looked at him like he was considering pulling Essek back behind the hibiscus pots. Essek had half a mind to let him.

They were interrupted, as they so often were recently, by Jester.

“There you are!” she said, and swooped in to plant big fat kisses on both of their cheeks. “Come on, we have to have a Mighty Nein toast!” And she was tugging them through the crowd to follow her.

They found themselves crammed in a jovial huddle with the rest of the Mighty Nein next to Marion Lavorre, who was receiving a constant stream of well-wishers from the party. Each of her Chateau family kissed her cheek, or her hand (or once, memorably, her ankle, which was done with a great deal of laughter and eyebrow waggling by both involved).

During a break between these admirations, Marion leaned over to Caleb and Essek.

“I am very happy for you both,” Marion said, just low enough that the rest of the Mighty Nein - enthralled in their own conversation - would not hear.

“Ah- did you see--?” Caleb scrubbed awkwardly at his jaw. 

Essek flinched. Had their hostess been watching them?! How mortifying. He felt torn between wanting to hunch to appear smaller, and wanting to straighten his spine like a shield.

“Oh! No, not at all, there were so many people about,” Marion laughed. “I could hardly see anyone but those right in front of me! But,” she gestured gracefully to her horns and her crown of flowers, and continued, “When your beautiful dancing lights very suddenly vanished, ahead of schedule, I assumed you had found something very pleasant to break your concentration, yes?”

Caleb went bright scarlet. He cleared his throat, coughed, and then laughed. “ _Ja,_ that… _ja_ , that is... not inaccurate.”

“I thought so,” Marion said, eyes crinkled fondly. “Well, I will bid you both good night, and a very happy New Dawn.”

“And to you,” Essek said, finding his voice in the familiarity of pleasantries. “Thank you very much for hosting such a wonderful affair. Truly, a delight.” The words, despite their formal nature, were as sincere as he could make them.

Marion smiled and gave them each a nod.

The rest of the party was a happy blur of talk with the rest of the Mighty Nein. At some point they were swept up in the logistics of helping with clean-up, and then heading downstairs to bed. They were all crammed into one room for the sake of the other party-goers who were staying at the Chateau. ("Just like the old days," Fjord chuckled.)

Essek kept looking at Caleb and accidentally catching his eye, as Caleb was doing the same. They would need to talk at some point, he knew, but now was not the time for it. Caleb’s higher-level spell slots had been spent on teleportation. There would be no Tower, no individual rooms, no space for privacy. There was only the tired and happy heap of his friends. That, too, was comforting in its own way. He felt insulated by them. If he was alone with his thoughts, he might brood, and work himself into knots. Instead it was like any other night being comfortably crowded by people he cared for.

Caleb set his bedroll on the floor, and Essek laid his own out next to it, as he often did. Everyone was settling in. Beau grunted and stretched before tucking herself under Yasha's chin. Veth and her family occupied the bed, Caduceus curling around all of them. Fjord and Jester were cuddled together by one wall. The atmosphere was one of pleasant exhaustion.

There was a sleepy round of _goodnight_ and _Happy New Dawn_ as Caleb extinguished his dancing lights and the room was thrown into darkness. 

Essek’s eyes stayed open, taking in Caleb’s features as he made himself comfortable. He itched to say _something,_ or make some gesture, just to reassure himself that he wouldn’t wake up to find it had all been a strange dream.

As though reading his mind, Caleb shifted and he reached across the space between them, searching blindly. His knuckles bumped Essek’s elbow, which he then followed to find his hand. He laced their fingers together.

Essek smiled. With his darkvision, it was easy to see that Caleb was smiling too.

**Author's Note:**

> I do more yelling about Critical Role and other things on tumblr - I'm [ariadne-mouse](https://ariadne-mouse.tumblr.com/).


End file.
